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All of the LOLs…Ginuwine’s “Pony”: Why This Song Sucks

A look at a handful of the bizarro lyrics:

"Someone who knows how to ride without even falling off."


Um, what? Does that happen a lot? Are women just falling off of men during intercourse? Should we be more worried about this? Will this effect our population’s ability to procreate? Is this an epidemic? Or, rather, is this a penisdemic?

"Send chills up and down your spine, juices flowin’ down your thighs."

Is the reason for the penisdemic that it’s just too slippery up there?

"If we’re gonna get nasty, baby; first we’ll show and tell, ‘til I reach your pony tail."

I think that the phrase “pony tail” here might just be a different way to say “pubic hair.” I don’t know. But if that’s the case, then dude. You know what no girl has ever said? ANYTHING ABOUT PUBIC HAIR. I’m saying, my wife made me watch every episode of Sex and the City and I don’t remember any one where Samantha was like, “Last night, ooooh, girls. Let me tell you. He was saying the sexiest things. At one point, he think he was saying that my genitals resembled a pony or something. So hot.”

"Lurk all over your body."

Lurk though? Are you a cat burglar now? What the fuck is going on here?

- Ginuwine’s “Pony” Why This Song Sucks by Shea Serrano

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  1. stackmack posted this